What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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