Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
