I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
