This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think my moral compass just broke
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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