So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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