She is in my trunk
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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