You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
