she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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