why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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