I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
