i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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