just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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