whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
