i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
