Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
