Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
