I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
