in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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