if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
