Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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