new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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