Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
