you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
