I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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