..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
