We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
