Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
