please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
