If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
