Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
