Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
