dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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