I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
