The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
