if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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