You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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