haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
