Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
