We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
