Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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