I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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