is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
