He is an equal opportunity slut.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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