I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
