Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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