dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
