This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
