I'm really into asian looking animals
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
