No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
