Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
