umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
