Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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