she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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