drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
