Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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